Ways to Disagree with Grace with Our Fellow Christians

I’m sure as Christians we are eager to defend sound doctrine.

That’s all well and good.

But is not also the unity of the body of Christ one of these doctrines which we should jealously guard?

The unity of the church is one of the keys for which Christ’s died, “For Christ himself has brought peace to us. He united Jews and Gentiles into one people when, in his own body on the cross, he broke down the wall of hostility that separated us.” Ephesians2:14

This, as much as anything else, is what the New Testament calls us to cherish and uphold.

Therefore, our zeal for theology must never exceed our zeal for our actual brothers and sisters in Christ.

We must be marked by love.

We must, pursue both gospel doctrine and gospel culture.

In the New Testament, we see humility is the pathway to unity.

For instance, Paul’s exhortation to the Philippians “Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.” Philippians 2:2 this is followed by his appeal to “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3, in imitation of Christ’s action toward them in the gospel.

“You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges, he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross. Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honour and gave him the name above all other names, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue declare that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” Philippians 2:5-11

Or consider Paul’s appeal to unity in Romans 14.

The presenting issue in this chapter is a conflict over Jewish food laws, but the principles Paul invokes could apply to many other issues as well.

His overriding concern in this chapter is that the different convictions held by Roman Christians not be a source of division among them.

Thus, the “strong” and the “weak” are called to mutual acceptance.

Specifically, amid their differences of conscience, Paul calls them to be welcoming, “Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong.” Romans 14:1, not to argue , not to despise each other, “Those who feel free to eat anything must not look down on those who don’t. And those who don’t eat certain foods must not condemn those who do, for God has accepted them.” Romans 14:3, and not to pass judgment on one another, “So let’s stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall.” Romans 14:13

Paul even calls the Romans to let go of their rights and adjust their practice in order not to violate the conscience of a brother:

“And if another believer is distressed by what you eat, you are not acting in love if you eat it. Don’t let your eating ruin someone for whom Christ died.” Romans 14:15

Today, as well, there are plenty of issues over which we as Christians will be tempted to quarrel, despise each other, and pass judgment on each other.

Instead, “Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall.” Romans 14:13

Like Paul, we must even be willing to make sacrificial adjustments for the sake of our unity with others in the body of Christ.

If maintaining the unity of the body of Christ is not costing you anything, if it doesn’t hurt, then you probably are not adjusting enough.

Paul grounds his appeal in “So why do you condemn another believer? Why do you look down on another believer? Remember, we will all stand before the judgment seat of God.” Romans 14:10:

Why do we pass judgment on our brother?

Or, why do we despise our brother?

For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God.

This is healthy point to remember: we’ll have to give an account of our theological speech and conduct, no less than any other area of our life.

When we’re standing before the throne on judgment day, what battles will we look back on and be proud we fought?

I suspect most of our Twitter debates will not be among them.

The unity of the church was so valuable to Jesus that he died for it.

If we care about sound theology, let us care about unity as well.

How to Handle Differences

As we read this, we may be working through the practical ramifications of theological triage, whether in our job, our church, our respective denominations, or some other set of relationships.

All of us will face these kinds of challenges at some point or another.

The reality is that if we think for ourselves, we will likely, at some point or another, hold to a different view than is socially convenient.

When that happens, what should we do?

1. Be Honest

We must be transparent about our convictions, even if it causes disruption in our vocation, church life, or relationships.

Painful as that is, it’s not worth searing our conscience by misrepresenting ourself or our views.

Some people seem to “adjust” their convictions with every new context.

Whatever other nuances may be involved in how we think about representing our views in the context of ordination or employment, the fact remains that lying is sin.

Therefore, when a doctrinal statement requires our affirmation “without mental reservation,” it means without mental reservation.

That does not mean we can’t agree to disagree, it’s being honest.

2. Be Tactful

Honesty is not the same as volunteering our views at the earliest possible moment, regardless of context.

There are times to be quiet; there are times to answer only the question we are asked.

For instance, when we are sharing the gospel with someone, or when we are seeking to build a Christian friendship, there may be topics we don’t intentionally bring up in the initial stages of the conversation or relationship.

That is not necessarily a compromise; it often reflects wisdom.

3. Be Gracious

Kindness and civility are becoming scarce these days.

More and more, outrage is the norm.

Therefore, we can testify to the gospel by speaking with kindness and moderation as we navigate our theological disagreements.

Let’s go out of our way to show love and respect to the other person, even when that person infuriates us.

Doing theological triage is an opportunity to live out Jesus’s words in John 13:35 “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”

4. Be Trusting

God is sovereign over even our doctrinal changes.

He’s looking out for us.

The hairs on our head are all numbered.

We can trust him to guide us and take care of us.

Psalm 121:3 “He will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber.”

It’s an encouraging and calming thought to remember God is attentively watching over the path we walk, including our theological migrations.